Journying Home
Jan. 24th, 2024
Dear Reader,
Join me on this exploration as we weave the threads of ancient wisdom and modern therapeutic approaches, to create a holistic pathway toward greater well-being and fulfillment. Both Sri Vidya Tantra and psychotherapy invite us to expand our understanding of consciousness, healing, and our boundless potential.
I consider writing as an integrative process that opens an opportunity to gather different strands of knowledge and experience from across time and weave a new reality. The writer-reader relationship shares similarities with the client-therapist relationship, particularly in the way it opens a space for connection, exploration, and meaning-making. I’d like to share some of my stories with you so that you see me as a real person and can imagine how the offerings of The Hidden Therapist could help you.
In contemplating Jung’s analogy of life's journey mirroring the sun’s trajectory across the sky, I find myself at the zenith of my own life. Reflecting upon the past fifteen years, I've been deeply engaged in supporting adolescents and young adults as they navigate the intricate path of individuation. Through their turmoil and uncertainties, I've served as a guide, aiding in the discovery of their unique purposes and pathways. Peering ahead into the second phase of my life, I envision myself embodying more confidence and finding creative ways to deepen my work with adults.
In my private practice, The Hidden Therapist, I primarily work with adults. I integrate evidence-based counseling techniques with breathwork, meditation, yoga nidra, mantra, psychedelics, and somatic psychotherapy. Lately, my focus has been on aiding individuals in both preparing for and integrating their psychedelic experiences. My primary interest lies in assisting those who have experienced non-ordinary states of consciousness to integrate their newfound perspective into their daily lives and relationships.
Similar to Jung, I approach psychedelics with great seriousness. Jung, in a 1954 letter to Father Victor White, expressed his reservations about the 'pure gifts of the Gods,' emphasizing their potentially significant costs (Philippos, 2022). While acknowledging Jung's cautionary stance and his warning to 'beware of unearned wisdom,' I have personally found psychedelic experiences to be beneficial. My approach, based on tantric principles, operates on the premise that nothing is inherently good or bad. Instead, I employ discernment to evaluate the costs and benefits associated with their use. My journey into psychedelics is rooted in twenty-five years of committed yoga and meditation practice.
While my most profound insights have arisen from meditation and dreams rather than the use of psychedelics, I am dedicated to advocating for the safe and legal integration of psychedelics within the psychotherapeutic context. I made a deliberate choice to delve into the realm of psychedelic psychotherapy due to an increasing number of clients seeking guidance in this area. And because it aids in my own healing and transformation. I believe firsthand experience is crucial for me to effectively assist others in navigating altered states of consciousness.
In light of the ongoing psychedelic renaissance and the multitude of clinical studies demonstrating their therapeutic potential, I now use psychedelics with psychotherapy. I am particularly interested in how mythological or spiritual frameworks might add depth to the understanding and integration of psychedelic experiences. Whether the journey is induced by psychedelics or not, the idea of how we return home from a journey and integrate newly discovered knowledge captivates me. Last summer, as I drove across the country, I listened to Joseph Campbell’s ‘Hero with a Thousand Faces, and I saw how myths from across cultures as well as client narratives encapsulate a recurring pattern involving the stages of flight, elixir, and return.
My own journey took a surprising turn: upon returning home from Asia and Europe to impart my amassed knowledge and wisdom, I made a startling realization—I'm not truly home after all. I feel the need to write myself home. I have a felt-sense that by endeavoring to answer this question I will heal myself, my ancestors, and that I will be led home. I will feel more at home in my body, in the present moment, and in my work. Last fall I hosted my first-ever Elixir of Life retreat. I invited healers from different traditions to share their healing elixirs with the goal of teaching that the source of the ultimate healing elixir is within each of us.
These personal revelations and the quest for understanding the concept of "home" in my life narrative motivate me to keep writing and serving as a psychotherapist. Having studied and practiced Sri Vidya Tantra for nearly twenty years, I have encountered exquisite yogic philosophies and methods. In sutra 1.2 of the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali explains that the aim of yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind. When the mind comes to rest in the sacredness of its own abode, the yogi not only come home to their source, but in the most advanced stages of samadhi, they actually forget their individuality and experience oneness with source. Sutra 1:33 describes a light that is beyond all sorrow. Vyasa’s commentary includes a cryptic reference to finding this light, but he did not share a map. Through the traditions and oral teachings of Sri Vidya, I have learned and now practice Vishoka, a meditation technique for getting there. From there arise pulsation and Sanskrit mantras, including the Sri Sukta. Taught for thousands of years through the oral tradition, eventually, it was written in The Rig Veda. I think of chanting The Sri Sukta as a way of returning back to ordinary states of consciousness with the elixir so that I can connect with others, and offer them a taste of what is possible from their own journey.
In the twilight of my life, as the sun sets on the horizon and I merge back into the ocean of consciousness, I want to know that I not only dedicated my life to aiding others but that I also experienced joy, peace, and that I found my way home.
Thank you dear readers for coming along on this journey with me!